Death poop from hell
Ugh, not only was the medication itself making me incredibly nauseous, but it was making me incredibly constipated, and I had my first death poop from hell since last December.
CW: poop talk
So yeah what ends up happening from time to time is I get really constipated, which ends up triggering my vagus nerve, and so the progression always goes something like this:
- For a couple of days I’m constipated with only small bowel movements
- I wake up in the middle of the night with intense cramping in my bowel
- I run to the bathroom, sit on the toilet, and nothing comes out
- Then things start to move, and there will maybe be something really hard and dense that comes out…
- …but then I start to feel tingly and faint and start sweating bullets
- Then I need to lie down on the floor for a bit; if I don’t I might end up fainting (this has happened a couple times)
- Meanwhile, my colon is like, oh hey there’s something not right here, and it starts flooding my stool with moisture
- So now I’m really dehydrated, but I’m able to get up and back on the toilet, and then a bunch of mostly-normal stool comes out
- And then a bunch of pudding-like substance (that does not smell at all like pudding)
- I might lie down on the floor again, this time because of exhaustion and dehydration
- My colon is now happy! Oh but it’s still been flooding with moisture, so now I need to get back and evacuate a thin brown liquid
- Also I’m still sweating bullets and by this point I’ve probably taken all my clothes off too, in a last-ditch attempt to cool off (even though I’m not actually hot)
- If I left my bathroom door open my cats are probably licking me out of concern but also to enjoy my tasty, tasty sweat
- Eventually the waves of bowel urgency interspersed with exhaustion ease off, and I crawl into the shower to clean myself off before going back to bed
- The rest of the day my head feels strangely clear, like I’d been congested for a week but then had a really good nose-blow or something
For the last several of these I’ve also brought my phone or iPad with me so I could take notes to try to figure out particular food triggers (turns out methyl cellulose is a bad one, and is used in a lot of bulk-forming laxatives as well as a lot of gluten-free foods). You’ve read this far so maybe y'all will find this entertaining:
4/27/18 @ 3:30,AM
Woke up with extreme cramping, usual rush to toilet and near vasovagal response. Episode lasted 1 hour. Previous day was constipated and only had small BM.
Previous day food:
Lunch: ikea veggie balls
Snack: goldfish crackers
Dinner: cold udon w sesame dipping sauce, 2 gyoza, 1 egg roll
Post dinner: 1 slice pizza (wheat, tomato sauce, cheese, meats)10/25 4:00
Cramping and gas but no rush or vasovagal
Previous day:
Breakfast: fruit smoothie w. Metamucil
Lunch: 2 slices pizza (Pagliacci)
Snack: donuts
Dinner: scrambled eggs12/28 23:30
cramp gas loooots of poo and vasovagal
had been very constipated earlier
continued colorectal spasms
almost passed out but didn’t. was able tolay on f\loofr first
lunch: chicken gyro wrap, whole wheat tortilla from berliner
dinner: chicken quesadilla, too much cereal after i got high
previous day: lunch was chicken burrito from chipotle, dinner was chicken quesadilla and too much cereal after i got high
death poop while high: NOT RECOMMENDED
second rpound of crampiong and poo surge at 0:01
painfiul cramps second time but no vasovagal yet
poo smells like the quesadilla chicken8/25/19 7:30 am
Had been constipated for past several days from
Gabapentin
Whole thing took about an hour
Unprecedented FOURTH WAVE at 9:15 (after shower)
So anyway, I’m going back to 200mg/day of gabapentin for now.
On the plus side I lost 3 pounds.
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