Hello, Tyler!

It hasn’t even been a week since Werner died, but Fiona was clearly in need of another friend, and I figured that I should get her one while she still had a chance of retaining her mothering instinct which made her get along so well with Werner.

So, I went to the Burien animal shelter and asked to see a couple of cats, Tyler and Wasabi, and explained the situation. The person there said Tyler would almost certainly be a perfect choice while Wasabi would have posed some problems. I met them both, and Tyler immediately got extremely affectionate and friendly to me, while Wasabi was a bit more murdery.

Anyway, right now Fiona is upset that there’s another cat in the house, but not so upset as to actually fight him. She’s hissing at him a bunch and occasionally growling, while Tyler is behaving the same to her as she did to Werner. It’s an interesting dynamic. (And, of course, Tyler is the same age that Fiona was, and Fiona’s the same age that Werner was.)

I expect it’ll be a few days before things settle down, but hopefully they will without too much bloodshed. And hey, they’re already hanging out under the bed together. Ish.

Meanwhile, I need to remind myself that I’m not replacing Werner, I’m just continuing the chain of affection.

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Another day

People keep on reaching out to me about Werner, which I greatly appreciate. I feel like I had gotten most of my grieving out of my system during the two months leading up to his death, though. Ever since I buried him yesterday I’ve felt, for the most part, fine. A certain clarity, a fog has lifted, and all that. I think my worry about Werner had been weighing me down greatly and now that he’s resting forever and at peace, everything is fine. Or at least better.

I’m still sad about his absence, and when I think about his final moments or look at any of the mementos I tear up a bit. But they’re mostly tears of joy, I think.

Fiona’s also gotten a lot happier too. I think she was spending a lot of time worrying about him and trying to take care of him, and it was wearing on her. Today she was extremely cuddly and affectionate with me for the first time since… well, since Werner got sick, I think. And she had a lot more energy for playing than in recent memory, too.

Today I stopped by his little grave and said some words to him, and Fiona came over too and sniffed a bit and rolled around. I think she can maybe smell him in there. Of course I’m going to visit him every day or so in order to water the hydrangeas, and I’ll probably be saying hi to him each time for a while, but as with all things that’ll probably fade. But I had put a Werner pin on the fence behind him, just a little reminder of him to see each time, at least until a raccoon steals it for being too shiny.

(Okay, thinking about visiting him makes me cry too.)

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