Move getting scheduled (job stuff)
The moving company did a good job of making it seem like I was like #1 Top Priority; when I first called them (returning a call that I'd missed when I was in the shower) and asked for my relocation agent, they asked if it was me by name, which made it seem like they were expecting my call, which was neat. (Later on the agent said something which revealed to me that they just have the switchboard stuff keyed in to bring up the file based on caller ID, though, which is still pretty handy.)
Moving people will arrive on the 24th That night the better part of a week to explore and hang out and look for permanent housing and so on before I start on the 30th. Woo.
I'm feeling kind of nervous about this job though. What if I end up disappointing everyone? For some reason everyone there is "extremely excited" about me starting there and acting like I'm some sort of ultra-amazing programming genius who will save the world and stuff. What if this job starts to suck just like all the others have? What if it hasn't been a problem with the jobs but a problem with me?
I need stuff to work on in the short term. I'm going crazy with nothing to do.
Comments
Wether or not they'll know to run with that, is what you'll find out
The NOW is good, so worry not about the future.
Maybe you should plaidify your website for something to do.
FWIW it does seem to me that you've been improving each time.
Dr Cecil era: you were very unhappy, let yourself get provoked, ended badly.
John(?) era: you were unhappy, kept it bottled in, ended it on successful terms.
Game-programming era: you were happy/unhappy, managed to take action to improve your situation (helping Neil get hired, getting onto the music side), ended in circumstances that were beyond your control.
You seem to be getting better and better at managing things: dealing with people, getting the best out of a situation, maintaining self-control.
I've also found that the pressures are agenerally less, and personalities less abrasive, in a large organization. (Though the bureaucracy and corporate stupidity may be worse).
Co-workers are just systems that you have to learn your way around. You just have to figure out what inputs will give you the outputs you want
It takes effort and concentration, but I'm sure you can do it.
When you start feeling overwhelmed, take a deep breath, slowly. Hold it when your lungs are full, for just a moment, and then slowly exhale and feel the stress and tension leaving your body with the air. Trust me, this works. It worked for both of the women I got pregnant who had babies. It will work for you.
Don't worry about it so much, Fluffers.
Just don't seem too eager to please(See: Yes-man) and you'll do great. They're looking for a programmer, not a human dynamo. You can't take on the world by yourself. That's what the collective team is for. If you try holding yourself to any standard that prohibits you from being yourself, then you're going to be miserable as hell.
I used to go through this ordeal when I would be hired for work as a studio musician. Imagine being thrust into a situation where you'll be working with people who are at the top of their game. These are professional musicians, not some party-all-the-time band. The stakes are high and takes need to be quick and clean. No matter how professional I may(or may not) be at the job, it didn't change the fact that these people intimidated the hell out of me simply because I was the new guy on their turf.
But in the end, you realize that they are people too and they're not perfect. And they certainly don't expect you to be either. Remember, you were hired because you are qualified for the job. That's all that needs to be said.
As TheoEsc said, you learn how to deal with the pressure over time and adapt. 6 months down the road you may be looking at some new hire who is going through the same thing you're going through now, and that's when you'll begin to see how much you've progressed.