Plaidophile

"Yeah. Could you put it out?"

"Well, I don't have any water. I'm waiting for the fire department to arrive. Any idea when they might come?"

"Is there something else you could use?"

"Not really. Just the fire department."

"How about this vodka?"

"No, that will just make it worse."

"What about this bottle of Coke?"

"Well, that might put a small part out, but then we'd have a big sticky mess and it wouldn't really do much to the fire anyway."

"Well, keep plugging away at it, maybe something will turn up. I heard the fire department might be here in two days."

"Might be? Couldn't we get a firmer commitment than that?"

"No, not really. So just keep on using what water you find. This is a top priority, and I'm confident you can handle it."