Plaidophile

So, my dentist's office called just now to ask if I could move tomorrow's teeth cleaning earlier in the day by a couple hours. I said I'd rather not, so could I move it to a different day instead? The response: "That would count as a broken appointment and we'd have to charge you a $50 fee," since it's less than 48 hours away from the appointment.

So I guess it's okay for them to want to change an appointment in a way which doesn't work for me, but for me to offer an alternative which works better for everyone counts against me? Is that how it's supposed to work?

I ordered a bunch of music gear. It came in two shipments, both shipped on the same day, and both actually made it to San Francisco on the same day. The same name was on both of them. The same street address was on both of them. Presumably either the same company name or the same floor number were on both of them. AND YET, UPS knew what to do with one package (that arrived this morning) but the other one (which was as far as I can tell in the same truck with the same driver) was rejected because of an "incorrect suite number."

My office doesn't have a suite number, just a street address and "4th floor." Usually, shippers can figure this out. But every now and then, UPS, in its infinite wisdom, decides they need a suite number to continue. And so my stuff gets delayed.

Unfortunately, a lot of merchants don't seem to realize that both company name AND floor number are necessary for packages to get to me, but in this case UPS should have been able to figure it out anyway, simply because there was another package for me in the same batch of packages which actually made it to me.

And of course, whenever I call UPS under situations like this, they claim that they need to hear from the shipper, not from the recipient, because nothing makes things go faster than extra, unnecessary layers of bureaucracy and buck-passing.

So, I needed some stuff fixed around my home, namely my kitchen light fixture and my furnace's flame sensor. I went to Cole Hardware's referral service, and they referred two very good local businesses for that: Brookline Electric and Peterson Heating.

In both cases, the issues turned out to be minor things which I thought I'd ruled out (a defunct switch and cruft buildup, respectively), and if I hadn't been so overconfident in my diagnostic abilities and just went and did those basic repairs myself, I would have saved a lot of money, but that's my own dumb fault. At least I'm supporting the local economy somewhat.

• fluffy: Yay, my Nexus One is out for delivery! Only a few hours before the crushing disappointment of not having an immediate state of bliss.
• fluffy: My Nexus One has been out for delivery for THREE HOURS where IS it COME ON FEDEX
• FedexAl: @fluffy This is FedexAl. Would you like for me to track your package.
• FedexDolores: @fluffy Hello this is FedexDolores would you like for me to check on your Nexus One for you?
• fluffy: .@FedexDolores Yes, I totally need a spammy bot to walk me through continuing to reload the tracking page on a package that I already got.
• FedexDolores: @fluffy Please call 1-877-339-2774 this is our technical assistance number. Our representatives will be glad to assist you.
• fluffy: @FedexDolores I don't think you understand a single thing I said. I have no problems with FedEx, but fuck off if you're going to spam me.

Anyway, yeah, it looks like FedEx is trying their hand at Twitter by having a number of customer service representative idiots who do nothing but search for FedEx and try to improve customer satisfaction by responding to every single message they see about FedEx in a way that only comes across as disingenuous at best and spam at worst. My first assumption was that it was a couple of bots that were trying to get my package tracking numbers so they could divert the delivery. That could still be the case; I would certainly hope they're not legitimate FedEx representatives because if they are, it's pretty damn damaging to them in my mind.

Sure, out of context I guess my second tweet could have been seen as a complaint about FedEx, but why would two separate CSRs decide that they need to immediately make sure that I'm happy with FedEx service when clearly I know how to track a package and am just being impatient? Maybe they have real customers who demand to know where their package is down to the street level, or don't understand that delivery takes several hours. But I was just joking at my own expense, which anyone who knows me (from actually being a legitimate follower on Twitter — meaning, someone who saw something I had to say and decided I was worth reading for some strange reason) would have understood.

Twitter is a communication tool, which I happen to use to keep in touch with friends and random Internet acquaintances. To me, it is not a B2B marketing tool or a customer service tool or a way to generate revenue or eyeballs or whatever, and every time some business decides they need to monetize the community assets in order to generate customer-facing goodwill or whatever other bullshit leads to these ridiculous decisions, they only serve to ruin yet another thing that people just do for fun.

Bill Hicks had the right idea.

Two reasons why I'm mighty sore at Chase Bank right now:

First off, a month ago I withdrew some cash from a non-Chase ATM. The non-Chase ATM charged me $3, which I was expecting. Chase charged me another $2, which I was not, what with them loudly proclaiming many times that they don't do that.

Second, and more importantly, they never sent me a "your statement is available" email this month, which is what usually prompts me to pay my credit card bill (the last one I received was on 10/31). As a result, although my payment was due on 12/23, I didn't realize I hadn't made it until 12/24, today. I have gone through all my Procmail logs and have no record of them sending me a statement notification for December (although I have one for every other month). They did send me quite a few "important changes to your online legal agreements" emails but none of those had anything to do with alerts - just stuff like me agreeing not to "reverse-engineer the website" and other such nonsense.

I have a feeling they're going to charge me interest and some huge late fee. I already sent them a customer service message explaining the situation. We'll see how that goes.

Meanwhile, I checked my "account alerts" settings and it looks like somewhere along the line, all credit card alerts got completely disabled. I think they overhauled their alerts system, and didn't bother to reapply old settings. I think there will be a lot of people surprised by massive unexpected late fees. I think Chase will make a lot of money off of this.

Yeah, I know, it should be up to me to know to pay my credit card bill every month, but I've always just used the receipt of the "you have a new statement/payment due" email as a reminder. I guess I should just set this up as a recurring calendar item instead, because no way can I trust a bank to not screw up when their screw-up potentially costs me money.

5:35 PM Wow, this is surprising:

Thank you for providing me with the opportunity to assist you today in regards to your request to remove the late fee recently assessed to your account.

Please be advised that I have credited your account for the $39.00 late fee and this adjustment will be reflected on your December billing statement.

Well, then.

Dear Sir McCartney:

While you think you may be speaking in your own interest, anyone who has wanted to download pirated versions of the Beatles catalog has likely already done so, as there are many avenues by which to do that which don't involve an official EMI release. All you are doing by insisting that EMI recompense you for any pirated "leaks" of an official EMI downloadable version is preventing the people who want to buy them legally from doing so.

Love,
A fan

So, about a month ago I ordered a game from eBay, which is the first eBay purchase I'd made in over a year. I never received the game. I went back to the eBay transaction, and noticed to my horror that they had provided an old shipping address to the seller. I had long ago updated my PayPal shipping address, but eBay had also overridden my (newer) PayPal address with the (much older) eBay address on the PayPal transaction as well, and in my haste I didn't notice this.

So, it's pretty unlikely I'll ever get the item. I guess I could try calling the apartment building and see if the package was left with the front desk or something. (Of course it's possible whoever is at that apartment now may have just opened the package instead, but being a Beatmania import I doubt they'd have any use for it.)

Still, screw you, eBay.

One of the many reasons why I gave up on the Sidekick/Hiptop was because I didn't have any reasonable way to synchronize my data between it and other devices. (This particular reason was at the top of the list, although ongoing usability problems and aggravation with not-quite-there features didn't help any.)

So, of course, the worst possible thing happened, and many people (including at least two friends of mine) were lost without their data and any way to recover it. I'm sure that basically none of them had a backup, because Danger went out of their way to make it difficult to keep your data synchronized or backed up externally.

"Cloud" computing as a promise is nice, but in execution it usually means "having all your data held up under lock and key by a single provider." You have to trust that provider to keep your data safe.

Over a month after I terminated my contract with AT&T and it seemed as if they were letting me off easy for the ETF which they have absolutely no actual right to (since I provided my own unsubsidized phone for the line I had to pay an extra $25 "naked SIM" charge for), they're charging me a $123 ETF. I have the right to dispute it through arbitration — with a $125 "filing fee," which will be refunded if and only if arbitration finds in my favor. So I can either pay the $123 now or I can pay $125 now with the hope of getting it back but the risk of having to pay $248. GEE WHAT A GREAT SITUATION.

Anyway, I had planned on paying the ETF as part of my migration back to T-Mobile anyway, so I'd might as well just pay the damn thing. It's actually lower than I was expecting. It's just a bit aggravating to be hit with it so much later, and to still be held to it even though the purpose of an ETF (recouping the cost of a subsidized phone) did not even remotely apply in this situation.

So when I ordered my new phone, I brainfarted and used my home address instead of my work address for delivery. As soon as I realized this (within minutes) I called T-Mobile and asked them to change the shipping address, and they were happy to oblige — but because of their ordering process the tracking number and the like had already been produced and sent to UPS.

No big deal, though, as they were able to send a "delivery intercept" to UPS immediately to change the shipping address. UPS listed this as such before the item had even left the origin.

Fast forward to the following Monday, when I was really hoping to get my new phone since I've been without phone service since Friday, and I'm greeted with the following message from UPS:

THE DELIVERY INTERCEPT REQUEST FOR THIS PACKAGE WAS SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETED / THE ADDRESS HAS BEEN CORRECTED. THE DELIVERY HAS BEEN RESCHEDULED

What does this mean? Are they going to delay the package for a day because it has been "corrected" even though the new address is only a few miles from the original address, and even though they already had the new address at the beginning? Hopefully it means they've "rescheduled" it to a different truck in San Francisco on the same day, and the fact I don't currently have a delivery date isn't a problem, seeing as how both home and work are serviced from the same UPS sorting facility.

I really hope I get my new phone today, because there is a lot going on for me right now and I'm expecting some pretty important phone calls. I really hope this is just a stupid boilerplate thing of theirs and a bad process. Of course, if someone had to get their package shipped to an entirely different city, does this mean that the package, even if it could have been rerouted before it left the building, would end up going to the original city and then get reshipped to the new city only after it arrives?

I realize that package logistics are a pretty complex thing, especially when dealing with 15 million packages every day, but it seems like there's still a lot of opportunity to fix things before it becomes a problem later.

Of course, T-Mobile could have just canceled the first shipment and replaced it with an entirely new one. Better yet, I could have just not been an idiot to begin with.

Number porting could go a little better.

I bought my new phone online, and selected the number porting option. To be helpful, T-Mobile pre-activated my service. Unfortunately, I don't have my phone yet, but this means that AT&T have already canceled my old line. So now I have no phone until Monday. Oops.

On the plus side, AT&T didn't charge me an ETF, or at least they haven't yet, so maybe the whole "unsubsidized equipment" thing means they're being reasonable by default even though they claimed they wouldn't be. I was ready to be all indignant about that, but I guess all my front-loaded indignation is enough.

I really like Netflix for movie rentals and streaming old TV series and so on. One of the best things is the discovery aspect. So when I noticed they provided RSS feeds, including some personalized ones (notably a recommendation feed), I subscribed right away.

So, this Easter weekend, a bit of a storm hit the Internet when word got out that Amazon was removing GLBT materials from search results and sales ranks. The Internet (well, Twitter and dozens of weblogs) assumed this was some sort of puritanical hokum from Amazon, Amazon's official response was that it was a glitch, and the meta-response was that Amazon has purposefully done this and is just trying to "cover its ass" and that there's no way such a thing could happen as a glitch.

As a former Amazon employee (who left the company voluntarily on very good terms two years ago), I should share some of my thoughts.

4:15 PM Read this. Mike Daisey's explanation makes perfect sense. Of course my main point is that you should put the damn pitchforks down because the actual situation is much more complicated than what the Internet masses want to believe. Whatever the root cause was, I am positive it wasn't the result of directed malice from anyone at Amazon.

So I just got this email from Netflix:

You are receiving this email because you added unlimited Blu-ray access to your account for $1 a month. The number of Blu-ray titles has increased significantly and will continue to do so. As we buy more, you are able to choose from a rapidly expanding selection of Blu-ray titles. And as you've probably heard, Blu-ray discs are substantially more expensive than standard definition DVDs.

As a result, the monthly charge for Blu-ray access is increasing for most plans and will now vary by plan. The charge for monthly Blu-ray access on your 1 DVD at-a-time (Unlimited) plan will increase from $1 a month to $2 a month. The price of your 1 DVD at-a-time (Unlimited) plan is not changing and remains at $8.99 a month.

The new charge for Blu-ray access will be automatically added to your next billing statement on or after April 27, 2009 and will be referenced in your Membership Terms and Details.

If you wish to continue unlimited Blu-ray access for $2 a month, you don't need to do anything. If not, you can remove Blu-ray access anytime by visiting Your Account.

If you have questions about this change or need any assistance, please call us anytime at 1-888-923-0898.

-The Netflix Team

Considering that I haven't even gotten any Blu-Ray disks since the first price increase (and in fact I've only gotten like two DVDs, what with me mostly watching movies via streaming) I guess it's time to remove Blu-Ray access. Hopefully enough people will do this that they lower the price again.

I like having the option for Blu-Ray but I really don't see how me having that option is costing them even the slightest bit more.

If I weren't under contract with them for the damn iPhone (and the iPhone is the only reason I switched to them from T-mobile — and the fact I'm under contract is also ridiculous considering I bought the iPhone separately and unsubsidized!) I'd be seriously considering canceling my service and switching back to T-Mobile.

So because of the whole mouse thing I decided to try out other local grocery stores. The top contender was Precita Food Mart which is actually slightly closer to my home than Safeway. So today I went there, and found out that Yelp has a very strange idea of what a grocery store is. This was more of a convenience store, with just two lonely aisles of overpriced canned food, beer, and wine. There was also a freezer case with some old ice cream and a basket of overripe bananas. (As it turns out, there are two Yelp listings for it for some reason; the other one, which I wouldn't have found with my search for "groceries," is much more accurate.)

The other local contender is 26th and Guerrero Market, which is a little bit of a schlep, but the reviews are much more promising, although they still say it's not suitable for "major grocery shopping." So, it's still not a Safeway replacement.

It's bad enough that you designed your crappy system such that anyone viewing a VoD program gets kicked out of it when the TiVo VoD servers go down (even though the movie is being actively streamed from an external third party, such as Netflix). But why the hell do you go down for "scheduled maintenance" at 9:45 PM on a Saturday? I'm pretty sure that's prime movie-watching time!

I suppose the saving grace is that at least it keeps track of where you were in the movie when you get unceremoniously dumped out to the main screen.

I don't know what's the worse possibility:

1. That my kitchen has mice
2. That the Safeway has mice running around in the bread department, and I've eaten 4 out of 6 bagels without realizing that the bottom-most one had been chewed on

Considering I see no other evidence of mice in my home, I'm pretty sure it's the second one. Euughghghh.

So, back in 2005 I bought my first HDTV, a then-recently discontinued model, at Circuit City. Even though it was being massively discounted between being discontinued and me having a 10% off "welcome to the neighborhood" coupon (having just moved to Seattle), the salesperson threw in an extended warranty for free.

Now in 2009, the warranty is long-expired, and I sold the TV close to two years ago anyway. I have moved three times since purchasing it, and haven't bought anything at Circuit City since. Yet somehow, today, I got a letter from Circuit City, direct to my current mailing address (I guess they've been keeping tabs!), offering to extend the extended warranty, for the "low" price of $60-and-change per year, which could be conveniently billed to my credit card in perpetuity.

So, I guess some part of Circuit City expects to survive Chapter 7 liquidation...

While I appreciate the sentiment to "analog nightlight" rules, this is not the way to go, at least not if that's the precise message they're going to broadcast. After all, digital sets can still receive analog stations, so I have a feeling that on February 17, a lot of people are going to turn on their fancy new digital TVs, tune it to an analog "nightlight" station, and get absolutely pissed off that they're being told that they still need to upgrade, since the TV is saying, "If you are viewing this message, this television set has not yet been upgraded to digital."

I'm not sure what better verbiage would be, but that particular message is not it.

Meanwhile, having a few analog stations for public safety would be a good idea in perpetuity, what with digital broadcasts being somewhat flaky and I can think of a lot of emergencies (weather-related, mostly) which would make digital broadcasts impossible to receive while still having analog reception at least vaguely viewable for those who don't have a radio.

On a related note, it's a bit disappointing that there are no readily-available digital converter boxes on the market which output an HD signal, meaning that everyone who bought an "HD-ready" set is still screwed. You'd think that now more than ever it'd be easy to find such things.