Stroke (dream)
At first I was apparently friends with the pirate (who, incidentally, had a wooden leg and an eyepatch, but he was still wearing his orange prison jumper) because I thought the young alcoholic was a bit of a dick. But then I realized he was dying and couldn't get another insulin pump. I pursued him (mostly by hovertrain) until we both ended up at my parents' house. There was a long negotiation involving much cannon fire and me hiding behind a scrawny tree, but I appealed to his humanity (with the help of a friendly neighborhood sniper), and asked him (via SMS) to please give up the insulin pump; "consider it a charitable contribution, although I don't think you can take a tax deduction on it."
He realized the error of his ways, and left the insulin pump behind as he flew off to plunder loot from those who deserved a good plundering.
I watched it on TV, and due to broadcast licensing issues with the music, Chekov/Timon couldn't even sing the actual Lion Sleeps Tonight hook which made it even funnier, somehow.
Apparently, when goldfish get all seven Chaos Emeralds, they are rewarded with electric guitars. Their electric guitars are tiny and hard to play and have built-in cheap reverbs which you can't turn off.
(Goro like ice cream.)
Then I got a haircut at the community college. It was terrible. Then I got to the house that I had just bought and discovered I had an infestation of informational pamphlet droppers.
The bizarre thing was when I got home today, I had a large padded envelope from the ACM: which had the latest SIGGRAPH proceedings in it! (Specifically the "full conference DVD-ROM" set with all the papers, sketches, art gallery, and who knows what else on it.)
I haven't been an ACM member for two years and when I was a member it was pretty unreliable as to whether I got the proceedings or not (sometimes I wouldn't get them at all, sometimes I'd get two or three sets). Now that I haven't been sending them money for a while, I'm actually getting this stuff that I don't care about anymore. And having a dream about it before it happens. Peculiar.
"Oh no, now I'm going to be depressed," said Superman. "I should fax in a prescription with my SUPER FAX POWERS." He closed his eyes and put his fingers to his temples, and Aquaman-style 'thought waves' came out. Then the robot drones were in the cage and powering up to shoot everything, and he flew out the escape hatch above.
"Hey, wait!!!" shouted an army man.
I was running through some random corn field when I met Cherry.
The thing is that, well, I don't know if this is normal, but when it starts to kick in, I get hypnagogic hallucinations, only without the sleep-paralysis precursors. So it's like I'm dreaming while I'm really awake, and not just in a half-awake state.
I also found some of my underwear, but I decided it'd be better to be safe than sorry and left it behind.
In one of them, at work we ordered in Mexican food. I ordered the green chili chicken enchiladas. There was no green chili, and it was just a pile of cheese and tortillas and lettuce with a breaded fried chicken cutlet on top. Eww. So I added more chili on top and my coworkers thought I was weird for it.
Other one I remember is too personal to post about, even as friends-only. Sorry.
The cellular phone companies all went out of business practically overnight. Acoustic modems were fit to bananas to provide an instant world-wide communications platform.
When I woke up I remembered my parents don't have an attic.