Demolition! Or: a farewell to shitty cabinets.
Day 0: scrambling to move my stuff out of the kitchen because I found out demolition was going to happen the next day without warning
So I was taking 18mg of Concerta for about a month and found that I tolerated it well, although it wasn’t helping my focus any (and if anything it made me drowsy). So I asked to go up to the next dosage.
So, yesterday I took 27mg for the first time (at 8:30 AM as usual), and it didn’t help me with my focus, but it sure as hell made me feel irritable all day, and my heart rate just progressively went higher and higher throughout the day. At 9 PM it suddenly went up to 130BPM while I was sitting down, and I could feel it pounding too. I finally fell asleep at around 2 AM, and my bed said my heart rate pretty quickly went back down to normal.
Today I opted not to take it at all and I emailed my psychiatrist saying I was going to discontinue it, and I’ll just try self-medicating with caffeine until my next psych appointment in a few weeks, unless she has a specific recommendation for a different thing to try.
Sure would be nice if brains came with user manuals.
While Publ is still going to be an IndieWeb-first platform (simply because it’s so much easier to integrate – having modular Lego bricks and a pick-and-choose functionality set that is as simple as adding it to one’s HTML templates is a very compelling approach), I’ve had some good discussions regarding ActivityPub lately and it’s starting to seem a bit more possible to add that as an add-on for Publ.
So simply disabling the Corel Update Helper wasn’t enough to get my machine back in reasonably working order; I couldn’t figure out what was causing CUH to relaunch periodically and simply disabling the LaunchAgent didn’t do that. So, I ended up deleting CUH entirely:
and while I was at it, I uninstalled Corel Painter.
For the last few months, every now and then my foreground window will “blip” out of focus momentarily. This is slightly annoying whenever it happens, since that means that whatever I was doing gets disrupted. If I’m drawing a line, the line gets hecked up. If I’m typing text, letters get dropped. If I’m recording in Logic, my audio drops out for a couple seconds. You know, annoying.
I was searching high and low for what it might be, and in doing so I noticed that Karabiner-Elements (which I use to remap some of the keys on my non-remappable keyboards) has a window focus log (from the Karabiner menu choose
Event Viewer then
Frontmost application), which is intended to make it easier to tell the bundle name for per-app layout overrides.
Well, this is handy!
I have an official ADHD diagnosis, and a psychiatrist I also think is pretty darn good.
(Her actual statement: “I think it’s pretty clear you have ADHD.” Go figure.)
Anyway. My HMO has a very specific medication schedule and the only non-stimulant medication they allow needs a very good reason, so we’re going to try Concerta (which is a time-release form of Ritalin) and see if that hecks me up too much. Also being basically legal meth, one of its side effects is weight loss, and I certainly wouldn’t mind that one.
I’ve been spending the last few weeks slowly ramping up my caffeine consumption and while my tolerance isn’t nearly where it was before the garbage fire that was late 2011, so maybe this won’t be too much of a shock to the system.
On that note I’ve been enjoying my return to coffee snobbery. I ended up buying a Fellow Prismo (obligatory James Hoffmann review) and some of their fancy tasting glasses. They should arrive on Friday. It’ll be interesting to have “espresso-style coffee” out of my Aeropress. Also I seem to be accumulating quite the collection of coffee brewing paraphernalia.
I am also very tempted to get a Rok now. Maybe I should, like, get a decently-paying job first.