Unity: No surprises (2009/10/02)

Arbiter: [[voice-over]] Officer Melrose, I find it interesting that if you had not come forward to defend Captain Lombard, we would have found him guilty of attempted murder. Your decision is admirable.
Arbiter: However, in doing so, you have only incriminated yourself, and shown yourself to be unfit for Academy duty.
Arbiter: I am prepared to offer you a summary judgment. If you agree to to psychiatric intervention, all charges against both yourself and Lombard will be dropped, and these records will remain sealed.
[[Extreme close-up of Juni's ear.]]
Juni: I see. And what of Tamu?
Arbiter: You never actually formally accused the Dean General.
Juni: Oh. Right. That's good, I guess.
Juni: Could I continue my research?
Arbiter: You would be barred from such activity until you are proven completely sane.
Juni: [[talking over Arbiter]] No... I need to see it through.
[[Extreme close-up of Juni's mouth.]]
Arbiter: That is unfortunate... but not surprising. Very well. The next testimonial is that of Agent Samantha Roarke in 3.2 kay-
Juni: [[talking over Arbiter]] Sam.
Arbiter: Pardon?
Juni: Please... just call him Sam. You'll understand when you see him.
Arbiter: Him?
Arbiter: Oh, I see. Very well.
Transcript

Sketchbook: Jazaaboo vs. the Dog-Head Girl (2009/10/03)

[[Jazaaboo/NeonPteranodon/whatever stands next to the severed head of SWIFTKILL on a wooden pike, wearing a random background WOLF!!!!!'s shrunken head as a necklace]]
Transcript
[!]1 comment

Unity: Blue period (2009/10/05)

Sam: Yes, I was Juni's assigned Agent, I guess for the last thirty rounds. Somehow the time passed quickly.
Sam: But not anymore. Ugh, can't believe I spent so long...
Sam: The last round especially. Kept having to do so much... our relationship was in the tank, everything just went outwards... what a mess. Everything. Juni couldn't trust me? Like candy. I shouldn't have trusted it so much.
Sam: Urgh, and Juni and Tamu, what a pair of kessels! What the breeze is wrong with them? It's like it's all some jarbreezing experiment to them.
Arbiter: [[voice-over]] Please be mindful of the profanity, Agent Roarke.
Sam: Oh... sorry. Thinking about them just kinks my rumen with stress.
Arbiter: A strange expression. It abrades your radula?
Sam: Uh, I guess...?
Sam: Juni has been like an entirely different person since the whole Homin thing and even acts like it doesn't know what it was doing, even though I know it got its memory back.
Sam: I dunno if its personality changed or if this just helped its true self to shine through but I just want nothing to do with it.
Transcript

Unity: Consequences (2009/10/07)

Arbiter: [[voice-over]] I apologize for the stress, Agent, but it would be helpful if you could describe the "Homin thing" in more detail.
Sam: Weird crap. Neural implants and psychotic breakdowns and brain simulations, on and on...
Sam: I don't even know what was going on, just that they were experimenting and Juni got obsessive like usual and Tamu kept on dinking around with it.
Sam: [[voice-over]] Somewhere along the line, something Tamu did made something break in Juni's head, and he stopped caring about the Homin repository and tried to fix Juni. I did what I could to help but I only made things worse.
Sam: Tamu decided to wipe its memory as a last resort but even that...
Sam: It's like I'm dealing with two different people, and I can never tell which one I'm talking to, but neither one is the Juni Melrose I remember.
[[Juni slumps on the desk holding with one arm over its head, looking pained.]]
Sam: I dunno, deep down inside it might still be my friend but right now I want to be with what little family I have. Does that make me a bad person?
Arbiter: [[voice-over]] I cannot answer that. You are not the one on trial.
Sam: Oh. Trial.
Sam: Right.
Sam: I got nothing else to say.
Transcript

Unity: Respite, fleeting (2009/10/09)

Arbiter: [[voice-over]] Officer Melrose? Are you awake and present?
Juni: [[cradling head in arms]] Nrh.
Arbiter: There are only two witnesses left on the docket... your mother , and Academy Officer Sasha Tzernikov.
Arbiter: I suspect that you would enjoy knowing that Officer Tzernikov came forward on its own accord, much as you did for Lombard.
Arbiter: Officer Melrose, you appear ill. Do you require medical assistance?
Juni: [[lifting head up a bit]] No.
Arbiter: You should also know that our Bailiffs have been having great difficulty contacting your mother. After Lieutenant Tzernikov gives us its deposition you will have one deci to bring your mother here.
Juni: [[head slumping back down]] Nrh.
Transcript

Random: Let's Make A Deal (2009/10/10)

Emperor Monty Hall: Well, Bob, behind one of these doors is the love of your life, but behind the other two is a man-eating tiger. Which door will you choose?
Bob: I'll go with door number 3, Monty!
Emperor Monty Hall: Okay, but first, let's open one of the other doors.
Bob: What?!
Emperor Monty Hall: Behind door number 1 is... a man-eating tiger!
Emperor Monty Hall: So, Bob, do you still want door 3, or are you going to switch to door number 2?
Bob [whilst being eaten]: Aagh! Get it off of me!
Transcript

Unity: Solidarity (2009/10/12)

Arbiter: [[voice-over, in mid-sentence]] case, how do you explain its recent behavior?
Sasha: [[voice-over]] Officer ME-LI-RÓ-SU's nature is one of a non-linear thought process. It is sometimes hard to understand. It needs to have the right questions asked so that it knows what to answer.
Arbiter: That is not what I was asking. Do you believe Melrose to be of sound mind?
Sasha: I do not have "beliefs." The facts indicate that ME-LI-RÓ-SU acts on an understanding that is difficult to comprehend.
[[Juni, head resting on its arms, glares off-panel.]]
Sash: [[on-panel]] The creation of the simulants was part of its plan. Its neural interface to ancient systems in Unity was part of its plan. Connecting a simulant to this interface was part of its plan. It testing this interface on itself was part of its plan.
Sasha: The end result of TA-MU's concern for YU-NI's well-being was not part of its plan.
Sasha: The events described in the prior testimonial precisely derive from TA-MU's unexpected intervention.
Arbiter: Prior testimonial?! I did not authorize you to view that.
Sasha: [[voice-over, talking over Arbiter]] It was simple to socially engineer a Bailiff. I submit to any punitive measures against myself. They are immaterial.
Juni: [[thinking]] Oh, Sasha...
Sasha: It is my nature to follow logical paths of reasoning. Based on actions of Officer ME-LI-RÓ-SU and on facts I know, my conclusion is that it is in the best interest of Unity that I continue to work to YU-NI's advantage.
Transcript

Unity: Rendezvous with Mama (2009/10/14)

[[Juni sits on a bench, talking on a data node.]]
Juni: Hi, this is Officer Juni Melrose. I need you to collect Hira Melrose and bring her to the central court building.
Juni: Okay, great. I'll transmit her data node ID.
Juni: She looks like me but older.
Juni: Oh, sorry. A Kayohash. Light purple, blue hair.
Juni: Yes, "Spadetail." Argh.
Juni: I don't know, she may-
Juni: [[spots Hira in foreground]] Sorry,cancel this request.
Juni: [[Kajoshi]] Mom! There you are! The [[Hiero]] Bailiffs couldn't locate you. Did you [[Hiero]] deactivate the [[Hiero]] data node?
Hira: The stupid thing that kept on sparkling and telling me to come this direction?
Juni: Yes.
Hira: How you can tolerate all this junk is beyond me.
Transcript
[!]5 comments

Unity: Specialization is not just for insects (2009/10/16)

Juni: [[Kajoshi]] This isn't going well at all. I need you to tell them about Tsan and what the "shrine" did to everyone.
Hira: Why yes, this is wonderful weather we're having. It is so nice to see you.
Juni: Ngrrf. Mom, there are more important things than smalltalk.
Hira: There is always time for basic civility, Juni.
Juni: Argh, fine. Hi mom, have you eaten? How was your day?
Hira: Very strange. Why did everyone ask me what my [[Hiero]] "specialty" is?
Juni: [[Hiero]] "Specialty?" You didn't go to [[Hiero]] Little Kajoshu, did you?
Hira: Yes, I wanted to see what sort of Broodwitch you have around here. What is [[Hiero]] "specialty?"
Juni: Never mind that. Let's just get you inside.
Transcript
[!]9 comments

Journal: 2009/10/17: A Night at the Museum (2009/10/19)

The above is pretty much exactly what happened on Saturday night; the other two are of course Shaenon Garrity and Jesse Reklaw. I had looked Jesse up on Google Image Search on my phone in the hope that it might help but it didn't. So it was slightly embarrassing when a few minutes later I was showing him something on my phone and the first thing that came on screen was a picture of him.
fluffy: Hey, Shaenon, sorry to bother you but I was wondering if you could do me a big favor...
Shaenon: What?
fluffy: Well, I want to meet Jesse Reklaw but I have no idea what he looks like. Could point him out to me?
[[A greenish man looks at fluffy curiously.]]
Shaenon: Let me get this straight... You want me to point him out to you?
fluffy: Yes?
Shaenon: And you have no idea what he looks like?
fluffy: Yes...
[[The greenish man looks blank.]]
Shaenon: He could be anybody here, at this very moment.
fluffy: Yeah.
Shaenon: Annnyone at all, here in this room.
fluffy: Oh!
Jesse Reklaw: [[who was there all along as the greenish man]] Hi.
Transcript

Unity: Lost in translation (2009/10/21)

Merideth: Hi there! How can I be of service?
Juni: Yes, this is Me-li-r&oacute:-su Hi-ra, a consult on case number 193857. She needs a Kajoshi translator.
Merideth: Looking... We already have a chamber assigned. Room 2947.
Juni: Are you sure? That's my chamber.
Merideth: Yes, it is. 2947, Juni Melrose. I will send for your translator.
Merideth: Your Hiero is quite good, by the way, but I can see why you'd want translation.
Juni: What? I don't need a translator, Hira does.
Merideth: And you will get one. If you would-
Juni: I really don't think you quite understand.
Merideth: Um... Let me get a supervisor.
Juni: Thank you.
Transcript
[!]2 comments

Unity: Send in the clones (2009/10/23)

Shane: Yes, Merideth? Is there a problem?
Merideth: Yeah, this foreigner seems to be a little bit confused.
Juni: I'm neither. I am Officer Juni Melrose and I need a translator and a room for Hira Melrose, my mother.
Shane: Okay, look.
Shane: That is Juni, and that is Hira. See?
Merideth: No, I see two of the same spadetail. Both of them are Juni Melrose.
Shane: Merideth...
Merideth: Same data node registration and this picture is clearly of both of them, right?
Shane: I apologize for this. Merideth can be a little slow sometimes.
Merideth: What'd I do wrong now?
Shane: Your mother is visiting from another province, right? May we establish her identity with genomics?
Juni: That wouldn't work either. We're basically twins.
Shane: I see.
Shane: Wait, what?
Merideth: See? This job is hard!
Transcript
[!]6 comments

Unity: Translation (2009/10/26)

Arbiter: [[voice over]] I see there was some confusion.
Juni: Apparently, we are legally the same person.
Arbiter: Your sarcasm is duly noted.
Hira: Oh, is like radio? Hello, I speak Hiero not good. Juni say I can speak to [[Kajoshi]] Kajoshi?
Brin: [[voice over, Kajoshi]] Hello, I am Brin and I will be your [[Hiero]] court interpreter.
Hira: [[Kajoshi]]Oh, hello, Brin. Have you eaten?
Brin: It's been a while since I have been asked that! Heh. Yes, I'm well-fed.
Hira: Your accent is strange. What village are you from?
Brin: Actually, I was hatched in the South, but my mother hardly speaks Hiero.
Hira: Ah. You are a good child.
Arbiter: This is sounding social. If you are ready, then Juni must leave to not affect Hira's deposition. If a response is needed then you will be given opportunity for rebuttal, Officer Melrose.
Arbiter: [[from inside pod]] Brin, are we ready?
Brin: I think so, Arbiter Ro-
Arbiter: ANONYMITY!
Brin: Oh, breeze! I'm sorry.
Arbiter: Mind the Profanity.
Brin: Yes, Arbiter. I apologize.
[[Juni walks away between two rows of pods.]]
Transcript

Unity: Aftermath (2009/10/28)

[[Juni kneels naked on the couch, facing the window, with clothes strewn about and swaths of minor destruction all around it.]]
Transcript
[!]6 comments

Unity: A trying affair (2009/10/30)

[[Hira sits on the couch next to Juni and pets Juni's side]]
Hira: My poor, poor Juni.
Juni: Nf. How long have you been here?
Hira: A while. I requested some dinner. It isn't going to be something weird, is it?
Juni: Mf. To you? Probably.
Juni: So what did you tell them?
Hira: I talked about the trouble you had fitting in as a child.
Hira: How you left for the South, so you could be a scientist.
Hira: And about Tsan and the shrine.
Hira: I tried to explain what both you and Tsan had told me.
Juni: Tried?
Hira: Poor Brin, it was so hard for him to translate for the [Hiero]arbiter. Did you know Hiero has no single word for sparkle?
Juni: Most of them don't have that sense.
Hira: Well, it's no wonder they all seem so disconnected.
Juni: Mm.
Transcript
[!]2 comments
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2009/10/30: On the other hand...

[!]4 comments
My copy of the latest Ratchet and Clank game finally arrived and I've been itching to play it. Knowing how the previous one went, I am not likely to get anything else done this weekend, including comics.

2009/10/30: I love to be wrong

[!]1 comment
Not only did all three updates happen last week, they happened every week this month, and there was also a bonus "random" and a sketchbook on top of that. That's pretty rare for me, so I'm pleased about it.

2009/10/19: Probably fewer updates this week

Between me being busy this whole weekend and my usual wrist problems, I haven't been able to work on comics much (aside from today's journal comic, obviously).

2009/10/16: Dangit, reality

Why must you keep on making even the most implausible (and arguably scary) aspects of my science fiction feasible?

(Next step, programming a platypus via sparkle electroreception...)

2009/10/14: busybee comics is now on Archive Binge!

[!]4 comments
Archive Binge is a great service which allows you to create a retroactive RSS feed in order to catch up on comics with large archives. I've been using it to catch up on a few huge ones that I haven't been able to dedicate any time to reading, and now my comics are on there as well! So if you've been wanting to read my archives but haven't known where to start, now you can.

It lets you start reading at any point, as well, so if you want to start with a particular series, just go to my archive page, select the series you want to start with, and use its first comic as the start date for the Archive Binge feed.

Anyway, while you're there, I'd also recommend using it to catch up on Templar, Arizona and featuring Talking Guinea Pigs!. There are a few dozen other comics that I haven't had a chance to check out yet, either. I'm sure there'll be something there you like.

2009/10/14: Some unpleasant business

I don't like having to make newsposts like this, so I'll keep it brief. I'd just like to point out that between my full-time job, my comics, and my music and audio production projects, I barely have time to do all the things that I enjoy doing, so why would I spend every waking hour posting "dozens of missives, ranging from polite to deranged, from various genders, stolen identities, nationalities, etc.?" He doesn't even have the decency to provide a single shred of evidence, so I ask that you just apply some critical thinking. In short: I have not done any of what he is claiming, and I don't even know if anyone is doing what he's claiming.

I sincerely apologize to the vast majority of you who have no idea what I'm talking about. Hopefully we can simply leave it at that.

Thanks.