SongFight!

I have a bad cat
He is very fat
He sat on my hat
And then he shat

He dragged the hat
All over my mat
Then he ate a bat
And made friends with a rat

I took this bad cat
To the laundromat
When we had a spat
About the theocrat

He's a diplomat
For this crazy dingbat
Sent us off to combat
Like a copycat

He's a bureaucrat
And a total ass-hat
Shut down the laundromat
Because he overheard chitchat

An aristocrat
And a cosmocrat
He's a pornocrat
Such a total prat

So I took this cat
Back to my flat
Gave up on the hat
Dumped it with the mat

We had a little chat
He'd have nothing of that
But I gave him a pat
He's my pussycat