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December 28, 2009

A shocking iPhone story ()

by fluffy at 11:14 AM
So I heard from a friend of mine who knows somebody at Apple so he totally knows what's going on with it that part of how they make iPhones is they take dessicated cockroach remains because cockroach antennae make the best antennae for mobile phones, but anyway one time they accidentally used too much of the cockroach and so there were a bunch of eggs in this one phone, and so the person who used the phone got the cockroach eggs in their ear and then the eggs hatched and they had cockroaches in their ear and it was really really gross. And then they went to the doctor and got the cockroaches taken out but then there were a few other eggs left behind and they ate the person's brain.

Comments

#12699 Duke of the Bump 12/28/2009 11:30 am
    I can corroborate this story. A friend of mine has a buddy who knows someone at Apple who gave them the inside scoop. Apparently the eggs were originally included as a potential feature of the iPhone - some sort of experimental direct brain interface. The hatched insects are genetically engineered to be able to communicate wirelessly with the iPhone, and by attaching themselves to certain parts of the cerebral cortex they allow you to control it telepathically.

    They had to scrap it in QA, though, because it turned out to be too much of a battery drain. Some of the phones still had the beta eggs in them, though.

    Supposedly Apple's working on a removal tool you can download and apply intraaurally. They're harmless in the meantime, though, as long as you don't come into contact with any sounds in the frequency range of 25-27 kHz.
    #12700 Neillparatzo 12/28/2009 09:27 pm
      Marduk desires not the barren wasteland of your dessicated cockroach viscera.