The gastroenterologist's secretary wasn't very enunciative and she was impatient with me when I didn't just predict what information she wanted from me. Then she said that he's only at the office that I would see him at two hours a week (and was very impatient about that, and apparently assumed I was going to debate her on it), and the doctor insists on seeing every new patient with an office visit before doing any procedures. So I asked when I could make an appointment for. The first one in my local office would be June 16, a month from now. So I asked about the other location, and rather than volunteer information about appointments, required me to ask about specific days. I said I preferred afternoon appointments, and she said that would restrict it to only Mondays, and the next Monday appointment would be June 14.
Maybe I should call my primary care physician again and ask him to just put me on antibiotics for H. Pylori and see if it works, because I'd much rather take potentially-unnecessary antibiotics for two weeks than to have to wait a month to find out that it'll take another unknown amount of time before I can even get a basic diagnosis, my stomach hurting the whole time.