As the ocean levels continued to rise, landmass became more and more scarce. During one particularly bad storm I was hiding out in a friend's trailer. It was swept out to sea and we were trapped inside.
December 2, 2014
October 6, 2014
So, I had a dream in which I was somehow on Unity (completely to scale), and Unity had gotten sucked into a pocket universe. Most of the dream involved me and Juni trying to find their friends. We also tried to find basic sustenance but in this pocket universe, the only food was McDonald's.
I don't remember most of the dream but I do recall quite clearly trying to attract a bunch of Octonas, and Juni using their underpants to do so (on the hypothesis that it would bring Tanya to us, so why not all the others?).
I think Juni is a little bit racist.
September 11, 2014
March 23, 2013
I had a dream in which I was sitting on a train and talking to an ostensible coworker (nobody I know in real life) about programming languages and some of the interesting stuff going on in performance evaluation, when suddenly she asked me, "Dude, are you okay?"
"Then why are you turning bat-cave black?"
I suddenly realized that I was turning blue with hypoxia, and promptly woke up to find myself not breathing.
After a few seconds of hyperventilation, my first thought was: "Uncaught exception propagated up the stack."
November 25, 2012
Every freaking night it's a different dream about the same thing. For some reason, I've ended up working in Sony's office (although last night I was still working for Amazon, but was in the Sony office on some sort of exchange program). And then Steve is continuing on in his usual crappy oblivious way of non-managing things, and expecting things to just be correct, and then after things aren't correct he starts to micromanage things without any understanding of what's going on. And then I finally confront him and explain how what I said on HuSi was intended as a joke of camaraderie based on his continuously-expressed attitude towards work and wasn't an insult directed at him, and try to explain how much of a fucking shitty manager he is, and he just sits there and ignores all my feedback.
It's not like these dreams help me to figure out what I need to do because actually talking to him is the worst thing I could do, and wouldn't help anyone. And it's not like I feel like I made a mistake in how I handled anything, especially not the things he insulted me about, and certainly not in leaving when it was clear that things were dismal and weren't going to get any better.
So why does my stupid brain want me to keep on reliving the idea of finishing a conversation I walked away from, which should have never started to begin with?
November 17, 2012
I have had these two dreams or variations on them every night for the last week or so. I wish they'd stop.
- My condo is on fire, and I am unable to save my cats
- Unexplained circumstances force me to move back to San Francisco and work at Sony again. Much of this dream revolves around me trying to reconcile with my manager there. This doesn't work.
September 10, 2012
I was looking at the wall of terrariums filled with lizards, iguanas, and other such reptiles. They all seemed tired and depressed, so I flipped the switch that turned on all of their blacklights, causing most of them to scintillate with fluorescent glows surrounded by a purplish light embrace. But the chameleon on the upper rung was still in darkness; one of his two small blacklights had gone out. Moments later, he scurried over to feel the love of the working lamp.
"Well, I guess we need to get that replaced," Chris said.
He made a phone call and asked about going to the pet store for supplies. A few uncomfortable minutes passed. A uniformed police officer appeared at the door.
"You called for an escort?" he said.
As the three of us walked to the pet store down the street, Chris got on his cellphone and called ahead, asking about a particular blacklight by part number. "Also, one of my lizards had little bugs crawling all over him," he said. "Any suggestions for what I should get? ... No, little tiny ones, like..."
"Like ticks on a rabbit?" I offered.
"Like ticks on a rabbit," he repeated.
The person on the other end made a few suggestions, Chris occasionally interjecting with an "Mm-hmm" or "I see."
"Okay, then," Chris said. "I'm on my way with my wife," he chuckled, looking at me, and hanging up.
I grumbled. "I wish you wouldn't call me that."
He teased my hair. "What should I call you, then?"
"I don't know... partner? Companion? I still don't know what we are."
March 25, 2011
- For some reason they made a feature-length movie of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. For some reason my family dragged me to see it. For some reason I actually enjoyed it. (Scary!) The plot centered around there being some ancient evil unkillable spirit that was held in very deep cryostorage and which one of the responsible ponies had to check on it once a month; then one of the stupid ponies (who didn't know about it) accidentally unleashed it on the world.
- For some reason I had parked my car on the NMSU campus, but forgot where I'd parked it. The "keep locking the doors and hear the horn honk" trick wasn't working, but then I noticed my key had a headphone jack and a "map" button. Pressing this button would cause a synthesized voice to tell me how far away I was from the car — but in units of how much longer I had to walk at my current rate assuming I was walking straight for it. So the value kept on fluctuating between "ten minutes" and "two weeks," making it useless. As I woke up I wondered how hard it would be to add this feature to a car for real (using active transponders or whatever) until I realized that I already have this.
March 21, 2011
- This week on Malcolm in the MIddle of Adulthood: Malcolm develops a crippling case of irritable bowel syndrome and refuses to leave his (very smelly) camper van
- Scott Pilgrim was originally a poorly-drawn philosophical furry webcomic set in a featureless wasteland and which had nothing to do with video games
- New Life in the Analog Age: Remember when we all had to flee the scramble jets as they turned us all into instant refugees? That was pretty great.
November 29, 2010
1"Portal of Evil" TV figured out how to make the portal real, and we were able to visit the site where videos were created. So of course we all decided that we'd enter into the living rooms of the worse vloggers. Some did it to harass them, but I did it to set up impromptu social events in their homes so they wouldn't feel so lonely. I couldn't get anyone else to join in on the LAN party though.
2An epidemic swept Hawaii, in which people would get a virus which would give them a particular mania. This mania manifested itself as feelings of being incredibly hot, which would lead them to become Realtors so that they could get clients who were selling homes that had cool, dark spaces to sleep in overnight, so they'd have somewhere to nest. There were physical signs of the infection, as well; peoples' noses would get very soft and flatten, which initially led people to think it was just a widespread cocaine problem. The later stages of the disease included seizure and sprouting butterfly wings.
October 25, 2010
December 3, 2009
Anyway, today they sent me a message out of the blue: "Had a feeling I'd find you here. Um. Just wanted to drop a note and say that I'm very much enjoying Unity." I thanked them for reading, and they replied, "Keep up the good work. It's a bizarre train of coincidences I followed to stumble across it, and I'm glad I did. Anyhow, that's the last I'll say so I don't start seeming stalkery or anything. Take it easy!"
I'm not quite sure what to make of this. I'm using a different pseudonym than I did back when we were together, and the way they were talking I can't quite tell if they were aware of who I am. But the most likely explanation I can think of is that they saw my post to Twitter and decided to just say "hi" in a non-committal way.
Anyway I'm sure I'm just going to keep feeling uncomfortable about this. It seems like this sort of thing always happens right when I'm at the peak of feeling good about myself and how things are going for me in all the things they consistently made me feel a failure in so long ago.
May 6, 2009
Of course, the stupid thing is I'm not even taking a Japanese class — many of my coworkers are, though, and their final is of course next week.
April 25, 2009
I still feel a little queasy but not like I'm going to make a mess all over the place (on either end), so I guess my lunch plans are unaffected.
March 19, 2009
The previous owners had decided to partially renovate the bathrooms, and put up ugly paper-backed photo-laminate paneling, which had to go. Dr. Beverly Crusher beamed down from the Enterprise to help me assess the situation.
Also I think the cake shop owner turned out to be Dr. Crusher's mom or something.
January 21, 2009
November 23, 2008
April 20, 2008
February 27, 2008
At first I was apparently friends with the pirate (who, incidentally, had a wooden leg and an eyepatch, but he was still wearing his orange prison jumper) because I thought the young alcoholic was a bit of a dick. But then I realized he was dying and couldn't get another insulin pump. I pursued him (mostly by hovertrain) until we both ended up at my parents' house. There was a long negotiation involving much cannon fire and me hiding behind a scrawny tree, but I appealed to his humanity (with the help of a friendly neighborhood sniper), and asked him (via SMS) to please give up the insulin pump; "consider it a charitable contribution, although I don't think you can take a tax deduction on it."
He realized the error of his ways, and left the insulin pump behind as he flew off to plunder loot from those who deserved a good plundering.
February 2, 2008
I watched it on TV, and due to broadcast licensing issues with the music, Chekov/Timon couldn't even sing the actual Lion Sleeps Tonight hook which made it even funnier, somehow.