Vyvanse continuing


So I’ve been on Vyvanse for many days now. Four total, one last Friday and three this week.

So far it isn’t really helping me, but it also isn’t hurting me. This is also just like the lowest possible dose for trial purposes, though.

It makes me feel awake and a bit alert. I also feel like I’m a bit more prone to irritation and feeling stressed, but that might just be other situational things happening right now. It hasn’t really helped with focus at all.

My heart rate and blood pressure are slightly higher than usual but not alramingly so.

I think it’ll be worth trying the next dosage up at some point. I have a followup with my doctor next week to discuss that. It’s promising.

Today I drove for the first time while on it and boy howdy did that feel weird. I’ll probably want to go without it during my trip in a few weeks.

We’ll see how I feel this weekend.

Vyvanse, day 1


Today was my first day trialing Vyvanse, just a single 10mg dose in the morning. I took it at around 9 AM, and felt it kick in at around 10. It gave me a slight headache, and a slight vague spacy feeling, with maybe a bit of… something that I’m having trouble describing. Almost like my spine was being squeezed from the inside? I don’t know.

My blood pressure and heart rate did rise up a little, but not to concerning levels; my rest pulse is usually 50-60 and my BP is usually 120/80, and on Vyvanse it peaked at around 75 and 135/85, respectively. Nothing terribly concerning, and not so much that I could feel it myself.

I don’t feel like I’m specifically more focused than usual, although my headspace is at least a bit less cluttered. And I’m definitely more alert than usual. It’s not quite how I felt on the two good days of Adderall, but it’s also not like, say, Concerta or Strattera which had me feeling frustrated and, well, colicky, for lack of a better term.1

Anyway. It was good to try this experiment on a day right before a weekend, since that means it won’t mess up the rest of my week if something went wrong, and also this was on a day I wasn’t expecting to be very productive anyway, what with the everything. I’ll be skipping it over the weekend but now I’m feeling a lot more optimistic about resuming it on Monday.

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A message from a Ukranian


A large chunk of the company I work for is Ukraine-based. Today, one of my coworkers (who lives in the US, but still has family back in Ukraine) posted this message, which I am sharing with his permission (he asked not to be named, for the safety of himself and his family):

Please read this carefully. This is a most realistic analysis from me since I’m thinking about it for last 40 hours non stop.

The World has changed. This is the biggest act of aggression since the WW II.

Guys I wanted to emphasize this again. US media might not represent it well, but Putin’s idea is to take down the whole Ukraine, because he can’t stand the idea that some of what he thinks satellites has chosen the democracy… After he taken down Ukraine, he will heal his wounds… And since he has nothing to lose he will take over Eastern Europe and maybe claim Alaska as a “historical” russian land. He has no moral identity — they are shelling our schools, hospitals, blood donation centers, kindergardens.

More than that China is watching this brutal act of aggression and making some conclusions of the Western world weakness.

And trust me if Ukraine falls — here in the US, everything will be very bad. It’s not even about our business it’s all about global economy and possible global militarization. Next elections will win Trump — guaranteed with the help of russian funding if they succeed today. So the only way to save our World as is and DEMOCRACY — right now is to help Ukrainian military. They are fighting versus second world larges army and winning.


The only weakness point is lack of airdefence systems since russia is attacking from everywhere — from the Black sea, from it’s border, from Belarussia and pre-Dniester Moldavian republic. We have to ask NATO to shield the airspace over Ukraine. Trust me the rest of russian troops will be taken care by Ukrainian army.

SO we have to attend rallies, to ask US government (your congresmen) to block Russia from SWIFT system and to close the airspace over Ukraine and start lend lease with tanks and stuff.

Please donate to Ukrainian army - they are the last frontier of the democratic world as is. This the truth. Spread the word about this, please. US folks should now what at stakes. 

For those who would like to contribute financially, there is information from the National Bank of Ukraine and a charitable fund based in Ukraine, which you can specify as going to the Ukranian Army or to a general fund.

Happy Twosday!


It is 2:22:22 on 2/22/2022, which happens to also be a Twosday.

This is not the only Twosday which will ever happen on the Gregorian calendar; 2/22/2220 is also on a Twosday. If anyone else is still around in 198 years, they can also have a celebration of numerical assonance.

2/22/2222 is, unfortunately, on a Friday. Pope Gregory XIII clearly failed to think ahead.

Anyway, the real celebration will be in 20 hours, when it’s 22:22:22.

More thoughts on drawing programs


I really want to make comics again. But none of the drawing programs I’ve tried have been suitable. They’re all overcomplex in ways that don’t help with the drawing process, or buggy, or have enormously troublesome user interface issues.

I used to use Photoshop but it’s gotten unwieldy, slow, and expensive. There were many really nice things in it which most drawing programs fall incredibly flat on.

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Armodafinil followup


Just a followup, I ended up staying awake for over 25 hours, finally fell asleep for a bit today at 10, woke up again at 11, and mostly I’m feeling like I have a gigantic hangover.

Apparently armodafinil’s mechanism of action is identical to cocaine’s, so it actually IS stimulant-based and not just “a wakefulness agent” and I wish i’d known that before embarking on this. I don’t know why my research failed me this badly this time. Probably me being desperate for something that works.

I’m definitely not interested in continuing with armodafinil, in any case. Advice for dealing with this massive pounding headache would be appreciated.

sleepless from armodafinil


i feel like crap and i;m wide awake and i want to sleep but i can;t sleep

i;ve been having electric pains through my nerves all night and i feel like i drank three pots of coffee and i am not sleepy at all but i am very very tired

on the plus side i’m having no apnea symptoms tonight but that’s because i’m not getting into a state of relaxation which allows it to occur in the first place

why is my body so awful at processing medications