closet mozzarella Neologism
What you get when you forget a jug of milk in a closet.
N-gendered Haiku
The two genders are:
cuties, gentlebeauties, and
off-by-one errors
Shelving
When you are born, you are given a shelf to put things on. The shelf is angled away from the wall a little bit, but that’s okay, because the things you put on it are boxes and they don’t slide around too much.
But as you get older you’re given more things to put on the shelf. And one of them is a bit round.
Publ Haiku
A new CMS
Helps me to put stuff online
Website carries on
laundry syrup Neologism
Liquid laundry detergent.
Fruit Short stories
Once upon a time there were two shapes: a Circle and a Square. They stumbled across a piece of fruit one day, and inside that fruit there were six seeds. Being fair and equal and perfectly nice to each other, each of them took three seeds back to their home.
All three of the Circle’s seeds sprouted and made wonderful trees, but the Square only got two trees. “Ah, that’s just the luck of the draw,” said the Circle. The Square agreed.
Aquatic Ape Theory Dream log
As the ocean levels continued to rise, landmass became more and more scarce. During one particularly bad storm I was hiding out in a friend’s trailer. It was swept out to sea and we were trapped inside.
However, as our lungs filled with water, a curious thing happened — we did not drown. And, instead of floating, we simply remained neutrally-buoyant with the water.
Complete 2 Bad Poetry
I love you so much fun and I have to be a good day to be a good time to get a new one is the best thing ever is when you have to be a good day to be a good time to get a new one is the best thing ever is when you have to be a good day to be a good time to get a new one is the best thing ever is when you have to
The only thing that would have to go back and the first half of the year of high quality of life and the first half of the day before I get to the first half of the year and the other day I have a great way of the day before the game and I don’t think that I can see it as an excuse for the next few weeks
I’m at a time when the sun goes on the phone to get my money to be able too see it on a Saturday afternoon at a time when the sun goes on the phone to get my money to be able too see it on a Saturday afternoon at least a dozen or the day after day I don’t have the right time and the best way for me
I have to be a good day to be a good time to get a new one is the best thing ever is when you have to be a good day to be a good time
I’m so happy
I’m so excited
I’m not sure how to make it
I’m not going to be the first half of this
I’m so tired
I’m so excited
I’m so happy to be a good idea
I don’t have to go back to sleep
I love you so much better than this
I don’t know what to say
The only thing I would have to be
I love you so much fun and I have to be a good day to be a good time to get a new one is the best thing ever is when you have to be a good day to be a good time to get a new one is the best thing ever is when you have to be a good idea
I’m not sure how much I love you
I’m not sure how much you can
I’m not going to be a great way
The only thing I have to be
Complete Bad Poetry
The fact I can see it as an excuse
for the next few weeks of a sudden
it was the best of the day
before I get a follow back
on my way home from work
to be the first half of the day
before I get a follow back
on my way home from work
to be the first half of the year
and the first half of the year
and the first half of the day
I have a great way of the year of high quality of life
and the other hand is the only thing that would have to go back
and the other hand is the only thing that would have to go back
and the first half of the day I have a great way
of the year of high quality of life
and the other day I have to go back
and the first half of the year of high quality
and I don’t think that I can see it as an excuse
for the next few weeks of a sudden it was
the best of the day before the end of the year
and a great day for me and I don’t think that I have a good
time with the first half of the day before
the end of the year and a great day for me
and I don’t know how much you mean to you
in a while ago but the first half of the year of high quality
and I don’t know how much you mean to you
in a while ago but the only one that is a good time
with the first half of the day before I go back
and the other day I will never get tired
and the first half of the year and the other hand I don’t think
that the first half of the day I will never get tired
and I don’t think I can get it right
Peter Wolfe
Peter, a successful investment banker, lives in Manhattan with his wife Ana T. Day, a commercial actress. One day, Ana is shopping around town when she gets in an argument with someone who takes issue with one of the products she shills (because Ana doesn’t actually use it). Peter’s jealous ex-lover Felix watches them from nearby. Peter, who was on his way to meet Ana for lunch, runs into Felix gets into an argument with him; this raises the attention of Ana, who asks Peter what’s going on. Peter explains, and warns both Ana and the stranger about Felix; they leave.
Peter then sees a news report about a series of murders being perpetrated on Wall Street bankers; his elderly mother calls him with her worries, but Peter says that he has no reason to be afraid, as the NYPD is on the case. His mother raises a big stink, however, and insists that he and Ana stay safe at home. Ana, as it turns out, is having dinner with Felix, trying to understand their past and try to repair what she thinks is a strained friendship (not realizing they were romantically involved), and while they are in the diner, the killer attacks them. Felix gets away, but Ana is taken captive, and only manages to text him “help” (with an iPhone “find my friends” location attached, yay product placement).
Peter tries to leave home to track her down, but finds that his mother has actually informed the cops that he was in danger, and so he is under police protection. He protests with them regarding Ana’s text message; they say they will send an officer to try to find her, but Peter escapes protective custody and tries to find her on his own. En route he runs into young woman who was arguing with Ana before, and asks her for help. Reluctantly, she agrees, using her feminine wiles to seduce the killer before she incapacitates him.
Peter ties up the killer, asking him where Ana is. The killer just cackles maniacally and says nothing; Peter makes the knots tighter and tighter. The police burst in, and separate Peter from the killer and put the killer in jail (and Peter under house arrest). There is a media outcry around Peter’s house arrest, for what if he hadn’t incapacitated the killer and the police had done nothing?
Ana is never found.