fluffy rambles: Hello humankindness

Hello humankindness

June 26, 2023 9:49 PM (11 months ago)

I’m still recombobulating my brain after the last few days of oxygen deprivation and extreme fatigue. Today was especially difficult for me. And a thing that really bothers me about it is that CHI Franciscan/Virginia Mason has posters everywhere proclaiming their philosophy of “humankindness.”

I don’t feel like “humankindness” was on display when they kept on shuffling me around between waiting rooms and when they were dismissive about every issue I was having. Or when they were trying to just blame it all on my asthma and ignore the acute, severe respiratory distress I was in. And I was having difficulty speaking because of the severe pain in my throat and lungs and the constant need to cough which I couldn’t do, and that just made people get frustrated at me for not speaking loudly or clearly.

And when they did finally give me a COVID test, after hours of waiting, and they just unceremoniously shoved it up my nose and got angry at me when I had discomfort from this, and at that point I had an emotional breakdown and just started crying, and there was absolutely no sympathy or comfort shown to me.

I was treated like a burden, not like a patient or a human being.

I wish there were any other option for healthcare around here. All of the hospitals and urgent care facilities have been taken over by one of two Catholic organizations. General practice is overloaded and it takes weeks to get an appointment.

And I’m also stuck in a situation where getting healthcare when I’m actually sick gets much more difficult. I have a hard enough time driving when I’m well; I’m sure as hell not going to drive several miles when I’m having fainting spells! And I’m not going to take a Lyft and expose a random gig economy worker to my illness. And I don’t have anyone in my life I can rely on to give me rides at the drop of a hat either.

People have so many ideas of how I should “just” do something or other, and that “just” is doing a lot of heavy lifting.

And yeah there’s a lot of things that medical providers “should” be doing, but they aren’t! And how can I fight against that when I’m already falling apart and barely have the ability to get out of bed most days?

I’m just so tired.