The ongoing miasma that is life

Today I somehow managed to tweak my back, right before I was going to do some gardening. I ended up doing the gardening anyway. This was, as it turns out, not a greaet way to help my back to feel better.

I got yet another letter from Social Security today, which I was expecting to be one of:

  • Outright denial
  • Yet another “adult function report” to be filled out by hand at great length/pain
  • Yet another “work history report” to be filled out by hand at great length/pain

Instead it was a notice of yet another “psychological function evaluation.” On the plus side, at least this one is going to be done via telehealth, which is at least an improvement over the last time. On the minus side, it means they’re still trying to deny me based on ADHD as my sole disability, an given how the last one went I’m guessing that the ADHD screening is also going to be incredibly reductive and not actually reflective of what ADHD actually is or how it interacts with my other disabilities.

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Music updates

My big fibromyalgia flare seems to have finally subsided, so I’m back to working on music, yay.

Right now I’m working on recording “Sunny Again” for Transitions. The Transitions version has ended up being somewhat more complicated than I was expecting, so this will take a while to get finished. But I really like the arrangement that I have, and I hope that I can pull it off.

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Some income would be nice

It’s really unfortunate how I’m stuck in the hinterland between being too disabled to work but being too abled to get on disability (at least not easily). Dealing with Social Security has been super frustrating and I’m not expecting to get a full hearing or determination any time soon, so in the meantime I could really use some sort of part-time income. Not to mention having things to do that other people care about.

I am way too burned out on software engineering to do that anymore (I barely even want to write code for my own projects), but I would be super willing to do things like:

  • Music
  • Sound design
  • Video editing
  • Character design
  • 2D and 3D art
  • Game design

Anyway, here’s my resume.

I’m willing and able to work part-time in Seattle (remote-focused hybrid preferred) or remotely.

The return of panic

Wellp, I had another big panic attack while driving today. Worst one I’ve had in around a year, and my usual grounding and mindfulness things didn’t help. I had a vertigo attack while entering the tunnel to the I-90 bridge, and this very quickly cascaded to a full-on panic shutdown.

I managed to make my way to Mercer Island and stopped at a Starbucks to collect myself, and then was able to get back across the bridge to make my way to Rainier Ave to drive home via surface streets, and had a good cry when I got home.

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