busybee fluffy rambles

Just had a realization that this massive current big-fatigue problem started right around when I started on Lyrica, which hasn’t helped with my pain at all, and I do recall mentioning the fatigue to my doctor and her suggesting some other things to try, but uh, maybe this is just as useless for me as gabapentin was

sure is great having a treatment-resistant chronic disorder or two

I’ve been struggling with my fibromyalgia + chronic fatigue lately. So hard for me to do any of the things I want to do. I can push myself into it for something especially compelling but that ends up wiping me out for days afterward. And I feel like I’m missing so much time, too.

Even driving a mile to the grocery store and navigating things there and doing the very basics is A Lot for me right now. Driving is such a large amount of effort and I feel like I can barely make it there and back safely.

Song Fight! Live is this weekend and I’m having a hard time even seeing myself being able to participate in it at this point, at least to the level I want to.

I’m so fucking tired, and then I have people around me shaming me for not being able to do the things I want to do, as if I don’t want to be doing them, as if I can just magically summon the fucking energy that isn’t there.

Everything is just a lot and there isn’t a whole lot of stuff out there filling me with optimism. Like, all of the information about chronic fatigue syndrome is that there’s no treatment, it’s all about ✨managing your energy✨ but I’m already doing the bare minimum to exist and even that is too fucking much for me.

I still have so many songs and stories and games in me but they’re just fucking locked inside.

I need help.

I finally have a disability hearing tomorrow morning. Feel free to send positive vibes, if you’re into such.