Shadowbox Confessional17 years ago
[[In a confessional booth]]
Girl: Forgive me, father, for I have sinned.
[[The reverend waits for more.]]
Reverend: Yes, do go on?
Girl: Well. Where to begin…
Girl: I have so many things to confess to.
Reverend: Why don’t you start with the simplest, then?
Girl: Well, okay.
Girl: I… I used the last bit of mayonnaise.
Girl: Well, I bought a new jar to replace it. But that’s not important.
Reverend: Er, okay…
Girl: Also, I parked at a meter and it expired, and instead of paying the fine I just added more money before I got a ticket.
Reverend: But you didn’t get a ticket?
Reverend: So why would you pay a fine?
Girl: Because I was parked illegally!
Reverend: Be that as it may, you did not commit any sort of sin.
Reverend: Yes, and it is the same with the mayonnaise.
Girl: What about when I took a thirty-seven-minute shower?
Reverend: Not a sin!
Girl: Ate stale bread?
Girl: Put off cleaning?
Girl: Had a cookie before dinner?
Reverend: My child, do you even know what a sin is?
Girl: Sure, it’s when you do something wrong.
Reverend: Well, not precisely… It’s when you do something which is an affront in the eyes of God.
Girl: But how can I offend someone that doesn’t exist?
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