busybee fluffy rambles

On the plus side I’ve been enjoying cooking a lot, and I keep thinking maybe I should document the things I’m cooking and write up recipes or the like.

I just get so frustrated so easily at technology right now, and when I try to go out and drive anywhere I have a dizzy spell and worry I’m going to get in an accident, and all of the technology I’m surrounded by is so ineffective and unreliable and I get angry at it a lot for not even being able to do its One Job, and I’m still recovering from the fucking bronchitis I got a month ago, and the Washington unemployment department eventually denied my entire last year of unemployment claims for stupid reasons that I guess are technically my fault but due to an extremely unfair, Kafka-esque situation that they put me in to begin with.

I’ve been somewhat enjoying the latest Zelda game but even that ends up hurting too much, so I only play it for a couple of hours every few days. I’m close to the end of the main story though. It’s a game that’s been both amazing and engaging but somehow tedious at the same time.

I’ve spent basically no time in my recording studio. My whole basement is a cluttered disastrous mess and I hate being down there. I want to reorganize it but I don’t know where to begin, and don’t have the physical capability to do so anyway. Whenever I do go down there I just see piles of abandoned projects and hobbies I gave up on.

I feel like maybe if I gave myself a routine and a schedule to follow I’d feel better, but I’m not sure what the purpose to that would be either.

Now that the weather’s cooled off a little I can start taking daily walks again. And tomorrow is a thing I want to go to although I don’t think I’m up to actually performing cello like I had intended to, god I’m so out of practice, ugh ugh ugh

I have so many things I want to do but none of them feel worth climbing out of my little hole for. But if I don’t push myself, how will I ever?