busybee fluffy rambles

I’m still incredibly fatigued and just like. Falling asleep all the time throughout the day. I also have no energy to actually do any work. I can’t help but wonder how long I can keep this up before I get fired.

I also don’t really give a crap about my job right now anyway. The company keeps on shifting directions and I’m getting whiplash. And I’m just so tired of working in tech. It’s like I’m burned out or something, like I’ve been saying for the past decade or so.

I just want to sleep for a while, and work on my garden, and enjoy doing small projects that I can do on my own pace. I feel like if I weren’t trying to work during the day I’d maybe have energy to do other things, and like, being able to record videos for YouTube or stream on Twitch or work on more music for games. Or even working on my own games, even though that feels like more than I can handle these days too.

Theoretically my condo will be (finally) selling in a few weeks and that makes these things feel a lot more tractable.

I’m very ready for the next phase of my life, whatever that is. Still being a software engineer at 44 feels like a gigantic failing to me. This was never meant to be a forever thing.