Song Fight! Live! 2024!
Having an in-person, actually-live show was such a great thing for my psyche.
I came to Denver wondering what the hell I was doing, like I was coming out of obligation rather than for something I actually wanted to do. But having had two nights of great performances and camaraderie, which was much needed and sorely missing from the last few years' worth of online-only shows, has made me feel so much better.
Of course at my lowest point during my trip I was inspired to write some lyrics which are full of probably extremely obvious subtext. But thankfully, while actually performing the song I was feeling way better about actually being there.
That isn’t to say that these two good nights have solved all of the feelings I’ve been having, and I think it’ll be good for my mental health to stop caring quite so much about Song Fight!. It’s been a helpful step on my road to becoming a better musician, and like I said in my song, I’m grateful for some of the best times of my life, but it’s also time for me to see what else is out there.
This show has at least renewed interest among the local Seattle Song Fight!ers regarding more collaboration and performing, and there’s already talk of next year’s show being in Seattle. All those are good things of course! But I don’t think I’m going to go out of my way to travel for these things in the future, and it’ll be healthy for me to be less emotionally-invested in Song Fight! in general.
Lately it’s been feeling like a burden more than a thing I enjoy, and why become tired and bitter for a thing that’s supposed to be for fun? Nobody’s making me do any of this, except myself, and I mean, I can be a pretty shitty boss when I’m my only employee.
There’s also a few other things that have somewhat crystallized for me but those are better left not said in a public blog entry.
All in all I’m glad I came and saw a bunch of folks I hadn’t seen in a while.