Improvement

So last night I kind of hit rock bottom, in that I was incredibly depressed and ruminating about every single mistake I’d made in life and so on. I had a good cry and went to bed at 10 PM (and didn’t use my CPAP because my nose was all stuffy), and then the next morning woke up at 6 AM, still feeling kinda like crap, and I stayed in bed until 7:30. But when I got up I felt better, and I ended up going to the grocery store at like 8 or so and bought stuff for making a decent breakfast for once.

Today was basically a self-care day, and I think between having reduced my nortriptyline dose, having gotten a full 8 hours' sleep, not having used CPAP, and having been taking magnesium supplements, well, at least one of those things helped out. And today I was… well, not pain-free, but lower pain than I’d felt in a while. This afternoon I ended up taking a brief walk and managed to go a lot further than usual, too, although it was still only like a mile total. But I didn’t feel completely worn out by it.

Tomorrow I’ll hopefully be able to go to work, and I’ll probably take the bus just to save on spoons, and we’ll see how I feel.

I just really hope I’m feeling back to relative-normal by Friday, since that starts a whole bunch of travel days for me. Fortunately in Portland I’ll be staying at an AirBnB which is near both the train station and the IndieWeb Summit location, so getting around there won’t be that big a deal.

And then the next week I’ll be in San Francisco and will be staying at a hotel near BART, and much of my time will be spent visiting my brother who is also near BART. I might also end up getting lunch with one of my former Sony coworkers who I recently reconnected with on Twitter, which should be interesting, at least. (Although he wants me to come by the office and I don’t think I can emotionally handle that… but we’ll see.)

As far as fibromyalgia treatments go, I keep hearing good things about gabapentin. So maybe I’ll ask to try that next, I mean assuming the magnesium doesn’t end up helping very much.

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