More IndieRadio(?) progress
You can always tell when I’ve been deep into a project when my feed reader stats go off-kilter:
Anyway yeah I’m working on the radio thing!
A fair independent streaming platform
Over on my music site I wrote a bit about the current state of streaming providers, specifically to encourage people to go back to buying their music and listening on local devices.
The problem with this line of thinking is that people really want the convenience of being able to listen to all the music, all the time, anywhere.
A thought’s been pinging around in my brain for a while about how this could be done differently, without falling into the trap of having a single service for people to have to subscribe to and put their trust in: what if we could make an IndieWeb-style streaming platform?
The state of the fluffy
I’ve not been doing super great lately. I’m trying to get better, but I don’t know how.
On the quest for VR hand tracking
One of the main things I do in VRChat is live performances, mostly doing guitar and vocals. One spot where this has been lacking is that I don’t have a satisfying way of tracking my hands while I play guitar, though. Here’s some things I’ve tried and things I’ve yet to try. At some point I’ll make a YouTube video about these different things.
So tired
I’ve changed my Lyrica dosing schedule to take it all in the evening, which has helped a little with my fatigue but I’m still just so very tired throughout the day and can barely get anything done.
I’m also still in a lot of pain and can barely get anything done because of that, too. I feel like what few responsibilities I have these days are falling by the wayside and I feel awful about it.
In particular, I have a few pieces of music I need to get done soon and I want to get done but I just can’t work up the energy to do so. Plus I still want to finish the basement reorganization project and that just feels Bad right now.
This weekend was also pretty draining, from Song Fight! Live (which went well but which I have some Thoughts about which aren’t suitable for sharing in public), and then yesterday my ADHD support group had a somewhat-impromptu meeting at Cal Anderson which was a bit of a nightmare to get to and not worth the energy expenditure given how few people actually came.
I’m just so tired of being tired.
Crowd Cow: experiment end
The other day I received what I think will be my last Crowd Cow box. There’s a few reasons for this:
- I want to cut down on my meat consumption
- Crowd Cow has gotten a lot more expensive, especially compared to supermarket prices
The most recent box was particularly expensive. Here’s a cost breakdown, similar to last time.
Lyrica
Just had a realization that this massive current big-fatigue problem started right around when I started on Lyrica, which hasn’t helped with my pain at all, and I do recall mentioning the fatigue to my doctor and her suggesting some other things to try, but uh, maybe this is just as useless for me as gabapentin was
sure is great having a treatment-resistant chronic disorder or two
Current TODO list
Updating this thing I guess
fatigued
I’ve been struggling with my fibromyalgia + chronic fatigue lately. So hard for me to do any of the things I want to do. I can push myself into it for something especially compelling but that ends up wiping me out for days afterward. And I feel like I’m missing so much time, too.
Even driving a mile to the grocery store and navigating things there and doing the very basics is A Lot for me right now. Driving is such a large amount of effort and I feel like I can barely make it there and back safely.
Song Fight! Live is this weekend and I’m having a hard time even seeing myself being able to participate in it at this point, at least to the level I want to.
I’m so fucking tired, and then I have people around me shaming me for not being able to do the things I want to do, as if I don’t want to be doing them, as if I can just magically summon the fucking energy that isn’t there.
Everything is just a lot and there isn’t a whole lot of stuff out there filling me with optimism. Like, all of the information about chronic fatigue syndrome is that there’s no treatment, it’s all about ✨managing your energy✨ but I’m already doing the bare minimum to exist and even that is too fucking much for me.
I still have so many songs and stories and games in me but they’re just fucking locked inside.
I need help.
Various updates
Here’s some things going on these days, since it’s been a little while since I’ve posted here.