Bleh

got another rejection for disability

this time it came with a 20-odd page document explaining in great detail where this decision came from, and while I didn’t have the spoons to read the whole thing, the parts I did read boiled down to:

  • We didn’t see anything in your medical record that says the things you said about your inability to work
  • Because your medical records don’t say that we believe that you can do work that requires standing 6 hours a day
  • You are totally qualified to do menial, repetitive tasks all day long and so surely you could do that for a career

And then there was a bizarre tangent about my HRT that I had no idea how it connected to my claim but felt vaguely transphobic, and also an insistence that I’d “rejected treatment” for my conditions, which is complete bullcrap; I tried so many different treatments but their side effects were much worse. I wanted them to work, it’s not like I chose for them to make my blood pressure skyrocket to 180/120 or give me days-long insomnia or give me fucking seizures.

As always the thing that upsets me the most is people asking me questions then either not believing or completely misinterpreting my response.

Oh and on top of that they used the fact that I’m able to manage my finances well enough to get by as proof that I’m not really disabled, either.

I’m so tired of this nonsense.

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Some updates

Just some brief stuff:

  • Finally followed through on my intention to remove (most of) my music from Spotify. I hope this doesn’t turn out to be a huge mistake.
  • I got an update on my disability process in that it’s moved to final approval… right before the government shut down.
  • Pain-wise I’m doing okay, not great, and same for fatigue. I’m still not driving.
  • Things are progressing with the game I’m working on, but I’m worried about its financial future due to being NSFW and sex-work-positive.
  • I’m pretty worried about the current timbre of American politics right now, what with being both trans and an atheist. Also my passport won’t be eligible for renewal until mid-December and I’m not sure the gender marker thing is going to hold out that long.
  • Who cursed me to live in interesting times? They can fuck right off.

VR hand tracking update

Since my last post about this I have obtained a Leap Motion 1 and have experimented with it a whole bunch, and unfortunately, it’s just not quite there for what I need out of it.

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Random updates

Hey! How’s it going? I think things are fairly okay on my end.

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Improving my VRChat performance audio

Now that I’m doing even more performing in VRChat and also making use of occasional backing tracks (instead of just doing everything totally live), it’s time for me to improve my audio setup. But Windows audio is super tricky and annoying, so it took me a bunch of iteration to figure out how I want to make it work now.

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Health stuff (positive)

Hey, stuff’s happening and it’s generally feeling okay. Hopefully posting about positivity won’t jinx it.

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Everything in moderation, including moderation

So, a couple months ago I started on Lyrica, which made me super fatigued and didn’t help with my pain any. And I got super frustrated about not being able to get anything done.

Over the last couple weeks I’ve been tapering off the Lyrica, and it’s made a huge difference in my energy levels: I’m actually able to do stuff again!

So of course with this surge of energy I’ve been Doing All The Things, with the inevitable result that I am now in incredible pain because I’ve overdone it (as you could probably tell by all the work I did on the streaming music prototyping over the last couple days). And of course, I got it to a spot where things are useful for a hypothetical future, but nothing anyone else can actually use just yet.

My life is such a precarious balancing act, huh.

More IndieRadio(?) progress

You can always tell when I’ve been deep into a project when my feed reader stats go off-kilter:

A graph showing a skyrocketing number of unread feed readter items

Anyway yeah I’m working on the radio thing!

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A fair independent streaming platform

Over on my music site I wrote a bit about the current state of streaming providers, specifically to encourage people to go back to buying their music and listening on local devices.

The problem with this line of thinking is that people really want the convenience of being able to listen to all the music, all the time, anywhere.

A thought’s been pinging around in my brain for a while about how this could be done differently, without falling into the trap of having a single service for people to have to subscribe to and put their trust in: what if we could make an IndieWeb-style streaming platform?

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