Diagnostic dilemma

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Okay, so, I’ve been having a lot more frustrating issues as of late:

  • Whatever my connective tissue issue is, it’s getting way worse
  • My kneecaps love to dislocate while I walk, and after 1.5 miles or so my knees start to give out under me
  • My toes also love to either dislocate or weirdly cramp at random, which is quite painful, and getting them back in place is challenging
  • My other joints (wrists, shoulders, TMJ, and sometimes elbows and ankles) are also in pain a lot of the time, and are possibly getting inflamed
  • I’ve been having frequent bouts of vertigo (which are especially troubling when I’m driving)
  • My tinnitus has gotten a lot worse recently
  • Also my GERD is back, and my usual dietary measures to keep it at bay aren’t working
  • I’m also getting occasional unexplained itchy rashes that flare up and subside after a few days
  • And I am fatigued all. the damn. time.

Yesterday I had a doctor appointment to try to figure stuff out, and while the appointment itself was pretty unproductive due to the usual crap with modern healthcare practices, the doctor did at least run a lot of labwork for me, including checking autoimmune and inflammation factors and the most common connective tissue disorder markers. It all came back negative.

She did at least refer me to a rheumatologist, but I suspect the rheumatologist is just going to look at the labwork and say there’s nothing they can do for me. Most likely the answer is going to be the usual “diet and exercise,” when my diet is already pretty decent and I have difficulty doing exercise because of the very problems I’m complaning about.

The only thing that was even slightly out of the ordinary on the bloodwork was a borderline c-reactive protein, which indicates either systemic inflammation or coronary artery disease, and given that I’m a bit overweight I can guess which of the two the doctors are going to assume it is (especially without any other markers indicating underlying causes for inflammatory disease).

There’s got to be something causing all this but the state of the medical industry means that it’s unlikely that anyone I talk to in the medical field is going to come up with ideas on their own, they’re just going to tell me “diet and exercise” and to do BPPV exercises. During the Epley maneuver the vertigo does get way worse, but completing the maneuver doesn’t resolve it.

And of course none of this even comes close to addressing my joints not moving the way they’re supposed to. I love walking but I sure don’t like the feeling of my knee bending backwards when I do so. Nowadays I need knee braces and a cane whenever I go out, if I want to have any chance of making it home without being in agony. And never mind playing DDR.

It’s just, gosh. I wish someone out there also has these problems but also knows what the cause is so that I can find some hope of understanding what I can do to make things better. There is so much more I’d rather be doing than what I’m currently capable of.

Today’s wins and frustrations

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The work on my bathroom is nearly complete. The wall is patched, the tile is fixed (and it went surprisingly well with no additional damage from the broken tile’s removal), and all that’s left is replacing the baseboard and painting. I don’t even need to be without a shower while anything cures, as it turns out.

Then I had a massage appointment out in Tukwila (across the street from the hotel I was staying at during the original bathroom remodel from hell, coincidentally enough). I felt the start of a panic attack when I was close to the end of the drive, but made it there fine.

The massage therapist’s office was upstairs, in a building with no elevator, and his office was locked and the instructions said to wait out in the hallway if that’s the case. My knees were acting up much more than usual today, so of course I got to sit out in the hallway while I heard the massage therapist just chatting with his previous client for 20 minutes about fishing. And then when they finally decided to end the yammering and he saw that I was out there he said I should have just knocked on the door to be let in. Oy.

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The return of panic

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Wellp, I had another big panic attack while driving today. Worst one I’ve had in around a year, and my usual grounding and mindfulness things didn’t help. I had a vertigo attack while entering the tunnel to the I-90 bridge, and this very quickly cascaded to a full-on panic shutdown.

I managed to make my way to Mercer Island and stopped at a Starbucks to collect myself, and then was able to get back across the bridge to make my way to Rainier Ave to drive home via surface streets, and had a good cry when I got home.

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To-do list recommendations

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Hey y'all, I’m looking for a better way of managing my to-do list for managing commissions and such. I’ve been using iCloud Reminders since it has good integration into macOS and iOS, but it has a few shortcomings, such as being a little annoying to manage nested tasks, and not having a good way to share things publicly.

I am looking for some combination of the following:

  • The ability to have nested tasks/subtasks with tight coupling between things
  • A public view where I can ideally also mark some items as private (showing as a placeholder just without any details)
  • A tagging system
  • Rough progress indication
  • Time tracking and estimation

I am NOT looking for the following:

  • A kanban board
  • Full-on project management

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Bigscreen Beyond day 2

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I wasn’t planning on getting into VR tonight but I ended up doing it anyway.

The Bigscreen folks suggested washing the facial interface gasket with soapy water, and that seems to have fixed the skin irritation. So there must have just been some residue left over.

I also printed a Vive DAS adapter so now I have a much easier time putting the headset on and setting up the audio and so on. It ends up not sitting on my head quite right, though, and adjusting the fit to my eyes is a little more fiddly. Unfortunately the design of the BSB doesn’t make it easy to put on a top support strap (the DAS adapter has a little dealybop for the DAS’s top strap but I couldn’t get it to stay attached with double-sided tape and I’m not yet willing to use permanent adhesive) so my choices are either off-axis lenses or having it so tight it gives me a headache.

I also ended up removing the lens inserts for now, and I’ll wait for the QC-passing ones to arrive.

Everything is just so sharp now. I like it.

⭐️ Meet Feedle a New RSS Feed Search Engine Notes

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Bookmarked: Meet Feedle a New RSS Feed Search Engine

This search engine seems pretty cool. So far the catalog appears to only have human-submitted feeds, though. I’ve already submitted a couple of mine, and hopefully more folks get on board with it.

(via IndieWeb News)

EDS & Why We Misunderstand Disability Notes

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I find this video incredibly relatable. I’ve not been formally diagnosed with any version of EDS but I definitely have some sort of hypermobility disorder, and it’s definitely related to my fibromyalgia diagnosis. Everything she shares in her story is super relatable. Including the specific experiences with physiotherapists and being doubted by every doctor, and everyone blaming me being “out of shape” or having a “weak core.”